Congratulations. You Have Officially Tugged At My Deepest Parts Of My Emotions

1/29/2018
Dear C,

In case I did not have enough wrecking ball thoughts today, my surgery date was moved out. It was a scheduling error that someone made, but because of you have made the rest of my emotional well-being want today actually jump, crawl, and itch right out of my own dam body. I immediately went into a fog and found myself unable to get out of the covers today. I thought at one point maybe I will get up and go get fresh air and then it just started pouring rain and I said…NOPE!

While you made yourself, right at home in my right boob I have a few more things to say to you…

Even on days as today when I have been hiding under my covers, I thank you. Because of you, my parents came, scooped me out of my covers, and took me to their house. I have to say that treatment does not happen often and I cherished every moment. They brought me back to a happier place and I am so grateful for them. Thank you mom and dad.

I also want to say, “Congratulations.” You have officially tugged at my deepest parts of my emotions that I never knew existed. You have sucked my Type A personality right out beneath me. As of the New Year, I have no plans, but to just kick your ass. Do you know what NO plans mean to someone who is TYPE A to the fullest? I have cleared my calendar and instead of the plans I made, I am busy juicing, drinking broth, enjoying every moment, happy tear cry every time my kids hit a milestone as silly as actually Hula Hooping! We have pretty much hit the point where my kids ask me if I am going to “Happy Cry” before we start reading a bedtime book. If you are reading this, you know the answer to that. YES, here comes the “Happy Tears”

Lastly, I want to say, Even though I feel like I’ve lost control on my body there is something that you will never take from me. You cannot take away the fact that I have the supportive husband in the world, the fact that I have precious little girls that make me smile ear-to-ear, family that loves me even on my worse Tara-Tude days, friends that truly love and care about me, and an entire community that has reached out at this difficult time. For this, I am eternally thankful.

Tomorrow is a new day, but today you can just go EFF off Cancer.

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