Getting “A Head” Of The News
This week has been mentally challenging, as I will possibly to lose all my hair in the next seven days. I have been preparing our family with this transition by getting short haircuts since my diagnosis. I am not as worried for myself as I am for my kids in this next step. Early this morning the girls were cuddled in my bed after their shower and waiting for me to braid their hair before school.
I looked at my husband and said, “Now is the time.” I have been waiting to tell them and get this off my chest for several days now. Losing all my hair will be a part of my journey, but will not identify who I am.
I approached the girls on the situation sweet and to the point. I said, “girls, I want to tell you that next week I am going to loose the rest of my hair because of the medicine I am on.”
Savannah, age three, looked at me and said, “mommy will you look weird?” I quickly addressed that beauty is on the inside and that I will be beautiful with or without my hair. Alivia, age five, did not say much but I could see it in her eyes and she just took it all in. She did ask if she could come with me to cut off the rest of my hair. Later she did respond, “mom, I love you.”
After our conversation, we did turn on the Doc Mcstuffins episode where the child goes through chemotherapy.
“Sometimes you have to lose your hair for your health. Be Ready. Be Brave,” Doc Mcstuffins said before the patient gets ready for her chemo.
After we watched the show, I did showed them my new wigs, hats and scarves that I have for the time that I will have no hair. They had fun giggling and trying them on with me, which helped me, feel a huge weight lifted off my chest.
In my house every morning before I leave to go to work and before getting a big hug from my girls, I always say two things to my kids.
- Remember to be kind
- Where are you most beautiful? I always answer after them, IN YOUR HEART!
Sometimes taking your own advice is not the easiest to do, but I am now practicing what I preach to them EVERY SINGLE DAY. I am looking inside the mirror, inside myself and seeing where the beauty really lies.
What I apply in my real life and during my diagnosis is that honestly is the best policy. My kids from day one of my diagnosis have sensed that something is different in the household. They have become more gentle in there hugs, participated in household chores, worry when mommy is in bed all day. They are more independent; taking the step stool to get food from the refrigerator without asking, helping to put clothes in the washing machine, and have genuinely thanked our community for all they have done and continue to do for us.
As in any situation in the house, I believe that children are aware of their surroundings. I do not want to lie to them, but I want to give them age-appropriate information as the time comes. I have not yet told them that breast cancer is my actual diagnosis, but they are well aware that mommy had a big boo-boo in her bobbies and the doctors did surgery to remove it all. When my therapist advised me to keep them involved with what is going on it was hard for me to understand at the time, but I am quickly learning she is so right. Life is not perfect and this experience will shape them into the young women they will grow up to be. I can only hope to inspire them and know how every time they tell me to BE STRONG it puts fire into my soul.